Kev Quirk

Proudly ruining the web since 2013.

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Youngest: Daaaaaaaaad, how was the earth made?

Me: [explains the Big Bang theory]

Him: So it made EVERYTHING??

Me: Yup

Him: Even that rock?

Me: Everything

Him: Even that tree?

Me: Everything

Him: Even those ponies?

Me: Everything

Him: Even my socks?

Me: EVERYTHING!

Him: Even the farts that come out my bum?

Me: 🤦🏼‍♂️

Walked up to my youngest, put my wrist on his head and said.

"Don't move, you're under a wrist."

I am fucking hilarious. 😂😂

Spring is definitely in the air. Today might be a good day for the first grass cut of the year...

I got my phone back today, really quick turnaround, which is impressive. But they only repaired stuff that's broken, not anything cosmetic. So the bezel still has a shit load of chunks and scratches out of the aluminium.

Annoying...

I don't know how anyone uses an #iPhone without a case. They're almost impossible to grip without one!

Are these things made of Teflon??

Riding to work this morning and my iPhone fell out of its carrier, then a fucking van ran over it! It's a bit damaged...

This is how utterly shit #AppleIntelligence is...I received an email yesterday in response to my "iOS Mail Is Shite" post and the email started with "Kev - I cannot agree with you more."

But Apple "Intelligence" summarised the email as "Disagrees with Kev; uses Mutt for blog email."

What an utter shit show.

I'm getting really bored of the constant "block #YouTube ads" battle. Like it or not, it's the streaming service I spend, by far, the most time on.

Thinking about admitting defeat and just paying for Premium.

Having to put another fish to sleep is a really shitty way to start a Monday.

This is the problem with the #fishkeeping hobby - when you setup a tank and stock it with a load of babies, they all grow up together, but they all grow old together too. So you end up losing them one after another.

I think I might hang up my buckets once these all pass.

When you're thinking about getting a motorbike and decide to go around a few showrooms to narrow down your shortlist, you should definitely NOT spend £22k on a new bike.

No, that's a stupid thing to do and very irresponsible. I'd never do such a silly thing. 🫣

Walking the dogs with the youngest...

Him: Daaaaaad, I've been reading a book in school about how babies are born.

Me (inner monologue): Shit shit shit shit shit shit.

Him: Did you know that a baby comes out of a ladies private parts and the hole is this big (holds fingers up in a very small circle). But a baby is this big (holds hands up about 2 feet apart).

Me: Yep. That's pretty much it, mate.

Him: .........................................I'm glad I'm not a girl.

Me: 😂😂😂😂😂

Shouting from the other end of the house:

Me: [youngest kid's name], GUESS WHAT???

Him: WHAT?

Me: YOU SMELL! 😂😂

Him (very calmly): You're boring...

And so the student becomes the master. You win this round, young'n.